Solicitude
by shelovesboots
Summary: [TWO SHOT] KANDY ANGST. She seemed to be so frail and helpless – only a shadow of the woman he had fallen in love with. PART II added.
1. 10 pm

**Disclaimer:** Well, I'm not rich, I do not live in California, so obviously, they don't belong to me!

**A / N :** Okay, this is my first OC fanfic ever, well, at least the first one to be published, so be kind. LOL.

Thanks for beta-reading, Helen!

_This is for Shellie.

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**Solicitude**

He found her curled up in her bed, the sheets pulled up to her waist. Her golden hair was a knotted and wet mess, pooling beneath her head. Her make-up was smudged all around her eyes, and black tears of dissolved eyeliner had dried on her cheeks. Her face, still bruised from her accident, was almost as white as the lacy pillow on which her head rested.

He sat down on the bed next to her, and gently stroked her back, feeling the outline of her ribs through her thin Burberry pajamas.

She seemed to be so frail and helpless – only a shadow of the woman he had fallen in love with.

He remembered how, young, vibrant and so incredibly strong she had been when he had first run into her in the cafeteria at Berkeley. Nothing could ever keep her down.

She had been radiant and shining and lit up the room wherever she went. But today, not even the brightest light could have covered up the shadows that loomed.

He couldn't tell if she had just cried herself to sleep (which he hoped) or if she had passed out intoxicated (which he feared). He sighed when he found his suspicion confirmed as his eyes caught a bottle of vodka which was already missing its better half on her bedside table.

"What am I going to do about you?" He asked into the silence as he brushed a stray lock of hair out of her face and planted a tender kiss on her forehead, being careful not to wake her.

----

She had always liked her Chardonnay. He had watched her opening bottle after bottle ever since he knew her. She used to enjoy a glass, sometimes maybe two with her dinner, just like everybody else did in this neighborhood.

Never had he imagined that she would go from sipping wine out of expensive glasses to drinking crystal clear vodka straight out of the bottle, as if it were water.

Countless times, he had tried to take the bottle away from her. But she had never let him.

Countless times, he had asked... pleaded her to slow down drinking, but she never did.

He had watched her raise the frosted bottle to her lips and gulp down the fiery liquid the way she used to drink her Evian after Yogalates.

She wants to drink away the pain.

She wants erase the bitter memories and forget all the things that have gone wrong.

She knows that vodka cannot make the words unspoken.

She knows that it cannot make the harm undone.

And yet she drinks.

Because she just wants to feel numb.

He had seen a faint sheen of tears glistening against her cheek as she put the bottle down and he realized that her downward spiral was going deeper and deeper.

----

Trying not to wake her, he carefully pulled back the covers and climbed in beside her. Her warmth drew him and he slipped his arms around her waist, spooning up close behind her.

"I love you," he whispered, and pulled her closer, placing a soft kiss in her neck. She was his world. He would do anything for her, but she had fallen too far, too fast, for him to catch her. As much as he wanted to fix her, he knew that he couldn't put her feet back on solid ground again. But he could get her help. And he would.

Tomorrow.

But tonight, all he could do was hold her tight, safe and secure in his arms, letting her know that he would always be there.

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**Please review :)  
Thanks.


	2. 10 am

**Disclaimer: **I don't own them :( 

**A/N:** This fic was supposed to be a one-shot only but since some people asked me to continue, I decided to write another chapter!

Thanks for reviewing part I, Shellie, Mariana, carliechick, Cynthia, KirstenRulez, Kiki, Ansy Pansy aka Panz, Natalie, Kylie, Mickey, Lauren, Jen, Eyeliner Stars, Helen, Mishie, Ally and Kazzie!

Lots of hugs going to Mishie for all her help:)

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Solicitude**

**Part II - 10 am**

He found her alone in the kitchen, slouched on a stool at the island, her back facing him. With her head propped on her arm, she gazed fixedly into the air; absentmindedly trailing her finger along the rim of a green coffee mug sitting in front of her. She was wearing a pink terry robe, and her disheveled, straw-colored hair tangled loosely down her shoulders.

For a moment, he stood in the door-frame, gazing at his wife's reflection in the high window, before he slowly approached and greeted her with a soft "hey baby."

"Hey," she raised her head and glanced at him; her blue eyes were empty but red-rimmed from all the tears she'd shed over the past few days.

He noticed with a sigh that she no longer wore make up to cover the traces of the night before.  
Without Clinique giving her pale complexion a fake appearance of health, her face looked tiered and crushed. A maze of emotions, drained of any happiness or spark.

He placed a soft kiss on the top of her head, "how are you feeling today?"

"I'm okay," she replied tonelessly as she slipped her finger through the handle, and lifted the mug to her lips to take a sip.

"If there's anything I can do..."

She sat down her coffee. "No. There's not," she spat.  
And it was true; he couldn't lift the burden of having said those things to her dad off her shoulders, alcohol did a better job there.

His eyes travelled over to the counter and caught a glimpse of an empty vodka bottle. She hadn't even made the effort to hide it. He let his eyelids drop and exhaled heavily trying to find the right words.

"We need to talk," he said in a gentle voice. "I'm worried about you."

She shifted uncomfortably under his concerned gaze and sighed. "I'm fine...I'm just tired, but, there's no need to worry."

"I think there is, honey." Vodka for breakfast gave him every reason to be concerned.

"Things can't go on like this." He motioned towards the vodka bottle, then reached out for her hands and took them into his.

"I love you and I can't watch you doing this to yourself."

She rolled her eyes. "Nobody is asking you to watch me. I am fine!"

Having wrenched her hands away from his grasp, she defensively crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Honey-"

She cut him off mid-sentence, "oh please, let it go," and reminded him, "my dad just died."

"Honey, it's more than that. I think you have a problem." He paused for a few seconds to let his words sink in. Eventually, he held out his hand, palm up, "You need help. Let me help you..."

She shoved him away, "that's not neccessary," she hissed coldly and stood up. Turning away from him, she declared, "I am fine and I don't need any help," her voice was firm, her words like ice.

Something inside him suddenly snapped. For a moment, he shook off his gentle tone and spoke the harsh words that lingered on his tongue, "and end up like your mom?"

Her body visibly tensed and her lower lip quivered with building rage. A surge of regret swept through him, as he saw her bristle under his accusing tone.

"How dare you say that!" she yelled angrily, shaking so violently that her legs could barely support her weight. "I am NOT like my mother!"

She turned her face away, swallowed hard and bit back the tears that prickled behind her eyes and threatened to fall down.

Although she jerked away from his touch, he eventually managed to grab her wrists. Trying to calm her down, he pulled her into an embrace.  
She wanted to free herself from his grip, and tried to push him away but he was too strong. He took her in his arms, murmuring inaudible words of comfort and apologies.

"I'm not like mom," she repeated uncertain, her voice gradually dissolving into sobs.

Her eyes welled up and finally a few single droplets found their way out of the corners of her blue eyes and slipped down her cheeks.

"Shh, honey, don't cry," he said soothingly, as he glided his fingers through her blonde locks.

Sobbing uncontrollably, she collapsed in his strong arms and buried her face in his chest. He wrapped his arms tighter around her body and lightly caressed up and down her spine until her trembling subsided.

_When he holds her close to him, strokes her back and smoothes her hair, he thinks he can help her. _

_He thinks that he can get her through this._

_He thinks the intervention won't be neccessary._

He tilted her head back, cupped her face in his hands and kissed her on the forehead. Brushing his lips gently over her eyelids, he continued downward, lovingly kissing away her tears. One by one.

_Yes, sometimes he believes he can save her. _

_He can dry her eyes, and give her solace._

_He can make her feel alright._

Slowly, he trailed his mouth alongside her damp cheeks until it finally reached her chapped lips.

But when he tasted liquor, he knew.  
He knew it was too late.  
He knew he couldn't save her himself anymore.

After all, it was only 10 am.

**end.**

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I would SO appreciate it if you would leave me some feedback!

Thanks,  
Sunny


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